Consequences of narcissism in parents

Rationale

Narcissism might, at least partly, explain parental abuse as well.  That is, narcissistic parents might be unduly sensitive to circumstances in which one of their children threaten their perception of themselves.  To illustrate, parents might feel their status may diminish after their children fail on some task.  Or parents might feel their status as an authority figure is jeopardised when their children are defiant. Consequently, in response to this threat to their status, narcissistic parents may often react emotionally and aggressively towards their children, manifesting as emotional abuse or even physical abuse (Wiehe, 2003).

Evidence

Wiehe (2003), an academic from the University of Kentucky, conducted a study that was designed to explore this possibility.  Specifically, this study compared 52 emotionally or physically abusive parents, as identified by child protective services, and a control group of 101 foster parents.  These parents completed a survey that included

• the Narcissistic Personality Inventory to gauge various facets of grandiose or overt narcissism,
• the Hypersensitivity Narcissism Scale to gauge vulnerable or covert narcissism,
• the Interpersonal Reactivity Index (Davis, 1983), designed to measure empathy.

Overall, compared to the foster parents, the abusive parents reported higher levels of narcissism and lower levels of empathy. Specifically, the following facets of narcissism and empathy differed between these abusive parents and foster parents:

• authority, encompassing a sense of dominance,
• exhibitionism, encompassing the need to attract attention and seek excitement,
• superiority, encompassing the motivation to be perceived as significant and powerful,
• exploitation, encompassing the tendency to be hostile and uncaring of other people,
• self-sufficiency, encompassing the need to be independent and assertive,
• vanity, encompassing the need to be perceived as physically attractive,
• vulnerable narcissism,
• perspective taking—or the tendency and capacity of individuals to adopt the perspective of other people,
• empathic concern—or warm and compassionate feelings towards other people
• low personal distress—or a limited tendency to become preoccupied with personal anxieties.

As many studies have revealed, when parents are narcissistic, their children are more susceptible to mood disorders, such as anxiety and depression. To illustrate, in a thesis, submitted to achieve a doctoral degree at Adler University, Leggio (2018) examined whether individuals whose parents were narcissistic are more likely to experience depression.  In this study, 198 adults completed a series of instruments such as

• the Center for Epidemiologic Studies Depression Scale-Revised (Eaton et al., 2004), to gauge depression, comprising items like “I could not shake off the blues”,
• the Rosenberg Self-Esteem Scale, comprising items like “I feel that I am a person of worth”,
• two measures of grandiose narcissism—the Narcissistic Personality Inventory 16 and the Narcissistic Grandiosity Scale—to measure narcissism in both participants and their parents.

Adults who perceived their parents as narcissistic tended to report high levels of depression, diminished levels of self-esteem, as well as symptoms of narcissism themselves. 

The role of scapegoating

Some research has explored the reasons that narcissism in parents may promote anxiety or depression in their children. For example, according to Vignando and Bizumic (2023), narcissistic parents may often exhibit a tendency, called scapegoating, in which they blame other people, such as one of their children, after they experience failures or other challenges.  To illustrate, narcissistic parents may blame their children whenever the family experiences conflict or similar problems.  Specifically

• grandiose narcissists who do not achieve some goal may blame one of their children to maintain their reputation or perception of themselves,
• vulnerable narcissists who feel ashamed may blame one of their children to diminish a sense of personal shame.

Children who are exposed to this blame or scapegoating may be prone to anxiety or depression.  That is, because they are blamed unfairly and unpredictably, these children anticipate that, at any moment, they might be a target of some other punitive comment—and this anticipation of punishment manifests as anxiety.  Likewise, because these children are a target of blame rather than gratitude, their goal to be admired and respected tends to be unfulfilled—an experience that manifests as dejection or even depression. 

Vignando and Bizumic (2023) conducted a study that largely vindicates these arguments.  Specifically, 504 participants completed a set of online instruments such as

• the Narcissistic Personality Inventory 40 and Hypersensitive Narcissism Scale to measure the degree to which their mother and father exhibited grandiose narcissism and vulnerable narcissism,
• the Family Scapegoating Matrix (Arnold, 1985) to measure the extent to which they were the target of scapegoating, typified by items like “How often have other family members blamed you for causing disagreements with your parents when it was not your fault”,
• the Clinically Useful Anxiety Outcome Scale (Zimmerman et al., 2010) to measure anxiety, comprising items like “I had tingling feelings in my fingers or feet”, and
• the Clinically Useful Depression Outcome Scale (Zimmerman et al., 2008) to measure depression, comprising items like “I thought I was a failure”.

As the findings revealed

• when individuals perceived their mother or fathers as grandiose narcissists or vulnerable narcissists, they were more likely to experience anxiety and depression,
• scapegoating mediated all these relationships—except the relationship between the grandiose narcissism in fathers and anxiety or depression of their children,
• hence, scapegoating explains some, but not all, the effects of parental narcissism on the anxiety or depression of their children.

The role of other parental practices

Besides scapegoating, narcissistic parents might apply other parental practices that could provoke anxiety or depression in their children.  For example,

• because narcissistic individuals tend to prioritise status over relationships and hence are not especially sympathetic, narcissistic parents may exhibit diminished levels of care or warmth towards their children,
• because narcissistic individuals like to maintain status, power, and influence, narcissistic parents may tend to control the lives of their children and thus seem overprotective,
• because narcissistic individuals often derogate people to boost their status, narcissistic parents may be more inclined than other parents to demean or humiliate their children,
• finally, because narcissistic individuals admire only a subset of people—people who they regard as high in status or success—at any time, they may show respect towards one child and contempt towards another child, manifesting as favouritism.   

These tendencies of narcissistic parents—the limited warmth, the overprotection, the demeaning comments, and the favouritism—can all impair the wellbeing of children.  To illustrate

• when parents are neither caring nor warm, their children seldom feel comforted when problems arise and thus learn to associate problems with enduring distress, increasing their anxiety,
• when parents are overprotective, children often assume the world is dangerous and unmanageable and thus may feel wary, helpless, anxious, and dejected,
• when parents show favouritism, children who are not favoured often feel their behaviours may not be rewarded fairly and, hence, might feel helpless and dejected.   

Dentale et al. (2015) corroborated these possibilities in a study of 409 adults and their parents.  Specifically, the parents of these 409 adults completed the Narcissistic Personality Inventory to measure grandiose narcissism.  The 409 adults then completed

• the State-Trait Anxiety Inventory Y Form (Spielberger et al., 1983) to measure their levels of state and trait anxiety, comprising items like “I worry too much over something that really doesn’t matter”,
• the Beck Depression Inventory to gauge depression,
• the Parental Bonding Instrument (Parker et al., 1979) to measure parental care and warmth, typified by items like “Was affectionate to me”, and parental overprotection, typified by items like “Tried to control everything I did”,
• a set of items that assesses derogation and shaming, like “put me down” (Gilbert et al., 1996),
• a set of items that assess favouritism, like “I felt my father or mother loved my sibling more than me” (Gilbert et al., 1996).

Consistent with the hypotheses, the narcissism of both mothers and fathers were positively associated with anxiety and depression in their children.  Specifically, limited warmth, overprotection, demeaning comments, and favouritism partly mediated these associations between parental narcissism and child mood disorders (Dentale et al., 2015). 

Besides anxiety and depression, narcissistic parents might also increase the likelihood of other emotional or social problems in children. Researchers often divide these emotional and social problems into two clusters:

• internalising symptoms that stem more from unpleasant feelings, such as excessive worry, anxiety, shyness, somatic complaints such as stomach aches, and guilt  
• externalising symptoms that relate more to tangible behaviours, such as bullying, outbursts, defiance, tantrums, and rule violations.  

To explore whether narcissism in parents is associated with internalising symptoms or externalising symptoms in their children, Rawn et al. (2023) conducted a study in which 457 parents completed a survey that includes

• the Narcissistic Personality Inventory to measure grandiose narcissism in these parents, comprising items like “People always seem to recognise my authority”,
• the Child Behaviour Checklist (Achenbach, 2000) to measure internalising symptoms and externalising symptoms over the last six months,
• the Parenting Behaviours and Dimensions Questionnaire (Reid et al., 2015) to gauge the degree to which these parents display emotional warmth, encourage autonomy, dispenses punitive discipline (e.g., “I punish my child more severely than I mean to), permits rule violations (e.g., “I allow my child to disrupt other adults”), or discuss expectations.

Although the results were not straightforward, some interesting patterns transpired.  Specifically

• two facets of grandiose narcissism—facets that revolve around the need to attract attention and to exploit other people—were positively associated with parenting styles that tends to be deemed as ineffective,
• these ineffective parenting styles—comprising the tendency of parents to punish excessively and to permit rule violations—were positively associated with both internalising symptoms and externalising symptoms in their children (Rawn et al., 2023).

Arguably, grandiose parents may experience rage when their status is challenged, manifesting as excessive punishment.  However, these parents may also be unconcerned when their children infringe on the rights of other individuals, manifesting as a permissive style.  Both excessive punishment and permission of rule violations may, for various reasons, impede the confidence and development of children, ultimately culminating in internalising symptoms and externalising symptoms.