Parental style and behaviour
Introduction
Over many decades, researchers have posed a variety of theories to characterise the antecedents to narcissism. Many of these theories explicitly or implicitly underscore the role of parents. That is, these theories tend to assume that parental styles—the strategies that parents adopt to rear their children—may affect the likelihood or level of narcissism.
For example, according to a biopsychosocial-evolutionary theory, proposed by Millon (2004), some parents adopt a permissive style, in which they seldom, if ever, impose strict boundaries on the behaviour of their children. Instead, they dispense rewards, such as praise or attention, regardless of how their children behave. To attract these rewards, these children do not need to regulate their behaviour or develop their qualities. These children, therefore, do not develop the motivation or capacity to earn these rewards. Instead, these individuals feel they deserve rewards unconditionally, irrespective of their efforts or achievements, as if they are special. As they age, they maintain this belief that, for some reason, they deserve this praise and attention. If this praise or attention is not forthcoming, they feel affronted, often erupting with hostility and outrage.
Overvaluation versus devaluation
As research on this topic escalated, scholars recognised that diverse parenting styles may foster narcissism. These diverse parenting styles can largely be reduced to two main clusters: overvaluation and devaluation (see Miller et al., 2017; Löschner et al., 2025).
Overvaluation refers to circumstances in which parents exhibit both excessive and unconditional admiration towards their child. The child gradually develops the belief they are special, extraordinary, and better than everyone else (Brummelman et al., 2017), sometimes manifesting as narcissism. Yet, these children may also be exposed information, such as failures at school, that contradict this perception of themselves, eliciting an unpleasant sense of dissonance. To override this dissonance, these children seek respect and admiration from other people: a core feature of narcissism. This account may explain why parents who adopt a permissive style might encourage narcissism.
In contrast, devaluation refers to circumstances in which parents do not exhibit warmth towards the child. The child does not feel important or special. To override these feelings, the child may compensate to boost their self-esteem. They may, for example, bias their memories or interpretations of events to perceive themselves as capable or special. They also seek opportunities to validate this belief.
Meta-analyses on the association between narcissism and parents
Because a variety of studies have explored the relationship between narcissism and the practices of parents, Kılıçkaya et al. (2023) conducted a systematic review to explore this association methodically and comprehensively. The researchers entered narcissism and parenting, or minor variants to these terms, into a variety of scholarly databases, including Springer Link, PubMed, PsycNet, and ScienceDirect. The original set of 140 studies that emerged was reduced to 10 studies after publications that were written in other languages, conducted qualitative research, or conducted research that was not germane to this topic were excluded. All the studies were conducted at one time rather than longitudinally. The results uncovered some telling but sometimes cloudy patterns
First, most of the studies did reveal that permissive parenting—a style in which parents dispense rewards unconditionally rather than impose boundaries—is positively associated with narcissism. For example, as one study showed, when mothers tolerate most behaviours and perceive their children as special and deserving, these children are more likely to exhibit narcissism later in life (van Schie et al., 2020).
However, the association between narcissism and authoritarian parenting, in which parents impose strict rules but without justification or warmth, was more nuanced. For example
- according to some research, if mothers, fathers, or both adopt an authoritarian style, their children were likely to become narcissistic (Lootens, 2010; Ramsey et al., 1996).
- yet, other studies revealed that, if parents were cold—a manner that epitomises authoritarianism—their children were not as likely to develop narcissism (Barbin & Ocampo, 2017; Horton & Tritch, 2014),
- conceivably, a cold manner could diminish the likelihood that children perceive themselves as unconditionally special and worthy.
Most studies imply that children of authoritative parents—parents who justify the rules they set and exhibit warmth—are unlikely to develop narcissism.
A model to explain how grandiose narcissism emanates from the behaviours of parents
Although previous studies have explored the parenting styles that may foster narcissism, research has seldom characterised how the behaviour of parents and other events combine to affect the momentary behaviours of individuals that manifest as narcissism. To override this shortfall and thus to characterise the evolution of narcissistic behaviour in greater detail, Löschner et al. (2025) proposed and assessed a detailed computational model. The following schematic outlines this comprehensive model. Although seemingly complicated, the model can be reduced to a few key assumptions.
Here are the key assumptions of this model:
- The self-esteem of individuals tends to diminish over time, called leakage, unless other events or thoughts boost this self-esteem.
- If self-esteem drops below some threshold, individuals will experience the need to boost this self-esteem. This threshold is higher in people who experience a strong need to be admired.
- To boost self-esteem, people will first initiate what is called intra-individual regulation—biases in memories, appraisals, and other thoughts, such as an attempt to recall their achievements.
- But if self-esteem is appreciably below the threshold, people will also initiate what is called inter-individual regulation—in which they attempt to interact with other individuals to boost self-esteem. Specifically, these individuals will either seek validation, called an admiration strategy, or attempt to prevail over other people, called a rivalry strategy. The success of these strategies will shape self-esteem.
- If either the admiration strategy or rivalry strategy is successful—and self-esteem exceeds the threshold—these behaviours are reinforced and become more likely to be initiated in the future. That is, the threshold to activate these strategies diminishes.
- Over time, if the self-esteem of individuals tends to be high, the need to be admired also increases, called tolerance. In contrast, if their self-esteem tends to be low, this need to be admired decreases.
The behaviour of parents also shapes the parameters in this model. To illustrate, if parents exhibit overvaluation and hence often admire the child, the threshold to activate the admiration strategy diminishes. So, the child is more likely to initiate this strategy whenever their self-esteem is lower than desired. In contrast, if parents exhibit devaluation and hence seldom admire the child, the threshold to activate the rivalry strategy diminishes. So, the child is more likely to initiate this rivalry strategy whenever their self-esteem is lower than desired
In essence, this model integrates assumptions that were derived from six distinct theories or frameworks:
- self-discrepancy theory (Barnett et al., 2015)—such as the notion that a discrepancy between how individuals perceive themselves and the qualities they do not desire fosters narcissism,
- the hierometer theory—or the notion that which strategies individuals apply to boost their self-esteem, such as whether they should attempt to prevail in contests or defend themselves, depends on their self-esteem,
- the assumption that self-esteem in narcissistic people tends to decline over time, or leak, and that such individuals experience an addiction to overcome this leak and to boost their self-esteem (Baumeister & Vohs, 2001; Morf et al., 2001),
- the distinction between narcissistic admiration and narcissistic rivalry (Back et al., 2013),
- narcissism-imprinting parenting styles—or how parenting shapes narcissism (e.g., Brummelman et al., 2015),
- the principles of reinforcement learning.
In a series of three simulation studies, Löschner et al. (2025) applied this model to uncover some key insights about the dynamics and changes in narcissistic features over time. These simulation studies uncovered some vital insights:
- As thresholds to initiate admiration or rivalry diminish, the self-esteem of individuals oscillates more strongly over time. Accordingly, the tendency of these individuals to seek validation or to compete with other people tends to elicit pronounced fluctuations in self-esteem—typical of narcissistic individuals.
- Rivalry in particular amplified these fluctuations in self-esteem—and also tended to diminish self-esteem.
- Overvaluing parents tended to encourage more attempts in people to seek admiration and generally raised self-esteem, reminiscent of grandiose narcissism.
- Devaluing parents tended to encourage more attempts in people to seek rivalry or competition and generally diminished self-esteem, reminiscent of vulnerable narcissism.